navigating your 20's: jobs and friendships

Back in April, I wrote a post about ‘navigating your 20’s’ and how strange life is in these years.

For me this topic is endless, so here I am with a post about navigating jobs and friendships in your twenties. Let me just start by saying that this is just my experience and my opinion. Everyone lives this age differently and there’s no wrong way of living or experiencing it.

So, let’s talk about jobs. Fortunately, during my university years, I had a scholarship that allowed me to focus only on my studies. Although this was a positive point of my university experience, it also meant that I did not start gaining experience in the working world early on.

My reserved nature - and the excessive anxiety I experienced during my undergraduate years - didn't allow me to do anything other than take classes and study. Let it be noted that, in part, this was also my choice and, like all choices we make, I now have to deal with the consequences.

In this specific case, the consequences are being put "aside" when I apply for a job or internship. And this happens because companies increasingly value life experiences and what is done beyond university. And I think this is incredible, but in my case it ends up harming me, in the sense that I have never traveled outside my country and I have a very limited life experience when compared to other people my age - note here to say that we never should compare ourselves to other people and that all experiences are different. I know this and I try to practice it whenever I can, but recruiters often don't see beyond what is on the resume and in job interviews.

To make up for my lack of professional experience, I have been applying for internships, which are a great way to gain experience and learn. The problem is: even for internships, they are asking, in some cases, for a minimum of 2 years of experience - which is ridiculous.

This to say that I’ve been applying for 2/3 months now and I still haven’t managed to find anything. It doesn’t help that we’re starting an economic crisis and that many companies have already started to reduce costs, namely in departments that they often consider less important, the communication ones (my area of ​​specialization).

And sometimes we look around and there are people who can easily find a job - here, it is, once again, necessary to keep in mind that each person has their own time and experience.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in recent years, it’s that nothing happens by chance and that, if it takes a while to arrive, it’s because something good and meant for us will arrive. The most important thing is to never give up and keep working and trying. Good things come to those who wait and are patient.

If my fear and anxiety would let me, I would love to go to work abroad, namely to Madrid. I’ve never been there, but I know it will be a city that I will fall in love with. I love the Spanish culture, I speak the language and Madrid is a beautiful city.

Now it’s time to talk about friendships.

I’ve said it on my other post and I’ll say it again. Our twenties are a strange age. There are those who are studying, those who are working, those who are getting married and those who are already having children. As I have said several times throughout this post, each person has their own time, but the truth is that we are starting to notice some differences in friendships here.

For example, I have a friend who already works and lives with her boyfriend, whom she has been dating for 10 years. Another friend of mine also works and has been dating for less time and also lives with her boyfriend. I have friends who still live with their parents - which is my case too -, friends who are looking for a new job after having done an internship, friends looking for their first job or internship and friends who accepted a job outside the area just so they don't stop working.

Our differences are accentuated here because it becomes increasingly difficult to be together. Availability doesn't always match up and of course those who no longer live alone have other types of responsibilities that I, because I live with my parents, don't have. Lunches, snacks and dinners are no longer as frequent and, although when we are together, it seems like we never stop getting along, it is clear that we are all at different stages in life. As much as it pains me to admit this, sometimes it seems that we no longer have much in common or that what once connected us no longer exists and, sometimes, I think it’s okay to outgrow people and friendships - that’s just life.

Which brings me to another difficult topic: making and creating new friendships in our twenties. During academic life it is relatively easier to make friends. At school it is always imperative that we connect with someone and it is always easier to do so in that context. However, when we finish college and truly move into adulthood, it is very difficult, at least for me as I am very shy, to make new friends, especially because the new contexts will inevitably be at work. Now you can tell me that going out with friends or through friends of friends would be easy to create new friendships. I'm not saying that’s not true, but it's true that it's very rare for me to go out. I love dinner and drinking coffee with friends, but I'm not the biggest fan of environments full of people where it's difficult to maintain a conversation, like in bars or clubs.

So, please be honest: do you have any advice on how to make new friends in our twenties? If so, let me know in the comments!

One of the biggest mistakes we can make in our twenties is thinking that we have to have our lives all organized. Almost no one has it and there is no problem with that. If we live to at least 80 years old, we still have plenty of time to learn and organize all the aspects of our lives. We are young and this is the age to take risks and make mistakes. The most important thing of all is to understand that we have to live and not spend our lives too obsessed with having everything in place already.

And for those who, like me, worry too much about everything: don't forget that life will (always) take care of taking you to the right place.

Now moving on to lighter topics, it’s finally time to go over what I’ve been doing, listening, reading, eating, wanting and watching.

Doing: on Saturday I went to brunch with my friends from college and I had a great time. I haven’t seen them in a while and I missed them a lot.

Listening: although it's been a few years, Empire of the Sun's "we are the people" has been on repeat lately. There’s something about this song that makes me wanna sing and dance!

Reading: about two years ago, I read the off-campus series, by Elle Kennedy. But now that I want to read the last book, “The Graham Effect”, I started to read everyhting from the beginning. Now, I’m reading “The Deal”.

Eating: I've been drinking strawberry keffir and I've been loving it - it's not exactly eating, but I think it counts too. I've already tried keffir in a kind of seasoned cheese and it's incredible, but now I've decided to start drinking it and I feel like it's really good for me.

Wanting: It's black week and the truth is that I've been finding good deals. So, this week I fell in love with a sweater and a shirt from Lanidor, a mini jewellry case from Matilda (a Portuguese jewellry brand) and some warm wool and cashmere socks from Oysho.

Watching: I’ve been following Matilda Bea on Instagram for a few months now and this week she posted her first YouTube video and I loved it! I've also continued to watch Meg Hughes, Emitaz and Paige Lorenze's vlogs (Meg and Paige post every week).

That’s all for today. I hope you liked it! <3

See you next week,

Lottie